Dear people that go on nights out and feel the need to do so in a limousine,
Can you please stop shouting at me about the fact I have a skateboard. I realise I have one, the fact that it is either in my hands or beneath my feet gives me enough of an indication of the situation between me and my board.
I realise that the heady excitement of being in a longer than normal car, that you're paying over the odds for the privilege of riding in, might distort reality for you slightly. It might make you feel the need to shout out the open window at various passers by random facts and/or currently chart topping music lyrics, but can I ask you to stop please.
All that you are achieving is drawing attention to the fact that you are a roving pack of cunts (sorry mum) on their way to spend over the odds on brightly coloured drinks in the presence of other equally as empty minded cunts (sorry again).
Those of us that have to witness and put up with your antics pity you. Having something shouted at us from a longer than normal car is not suddenly going to make us thinK: "Oh look at that person's expensive haircut glimmering in the window of that car, sorry, longer than normal car. Gee, I wish I was that person, I wish my wallet could support that amount of excess", it is more likely to make us wish for a freak one car pile up, sorry a one longer than normal car pileup.
Yours sincerely,
Adrian (Yes, the one with the skateboard)
PS: To all the people that can go out and appreciate the experience of doing something out of the ordinary without broadcasting it to the rest of the world, keep on doing what you do.